As if ... 
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What is black and white and green and black and white?
Two nuns fighting over a sweaty pickle.
What is black and white and grinds up and down, up and down?
A nun churning butter.
What is black and white and screams "YES! YES! YES!"
A nun winning at BINGO.
What is black and white and pink and hard?
A nun stopping, lifting her habit up to her shins, and sratching her ankle bone.
What is black and white and gooey and creamy?
A nun eating a bowl of Tapioca pudding.
What is black and white and makes a wet, sucking sound?
A toothless, elderly nun eating a Communion wafer.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A Roamin' Catholic.
A nun was telling some other nuns about how she was almost attacked by a man the night before. They all wanted to know how she managed to escape. ''It was easy,'' she said, ''I stopped and pulled my dress up.'' Shocked, the other nuns said, ''And then what?!'' ''He pulled his pants down,'' the nun replied. ''And then what?!'' cried the unbelieving nuns. ''And then I ran,'' she said. ''After all, a nun with her dress up can run much faster than a man with his pants down.''
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