SO this is christmas ... First year without being able to celebrate christmas with my little girl, Amanda. Thats my own choise - but still its hard. We had such a great time this morning, singing and playing - collecting her new doll house and stuff - and then the
came to pick her up.
When she left I sat down in my sofa and thought about how it would be when not having her around this special evening? She is 3 - and suddenly I remembered my first christmas. I was excactly her age - as my birthday is 10 days after hers.
One month or so before, I was forcibly removed from my home ... as my parents couldt take care of me in any ways. The first place after I went to was to a hospital with fully callout. I still remember the sirene and the "nice" man who carried me from the ambulance and into the arrival at the hospital.
Well, after a month of treatmeant .. it was christmas - I remember santa - he was HUGE .... and I also remember the christmas tree and that all the children had to hold hands through scarfes - to prevent infection!
Isnt that weird? A thing happend SO many years ago suddenly pops up?
Christmas eve came - I was with my nearest, small family - my parents, brother and my oldest girl, Sarah. The evening was very nice and cosy - and even though Amanda wasnt there - I felt blessed, I was with people, I love and care about.
I hope you all had a very nice evening/day or will have it tomorrow!
In only two days Peter is coming for a whole week. That will make the ending of this year -
AND the beginning of next year absolutely perfect
