I know, life is all about decisions you make! You wanna go left or you wanna go right? Whatever you choose, it will show you a new way and a new beginning on something! But what if everything you choose was meant for you? Would there be any need for making decisions or would it be enough just to follow your intuition?
Life atm
... is good! I'm so much in love! It is really wonderful but scaring at the same time. Wonderful because the feeling of finaly "fitting perfectly in" is a feeling I have never had before - nor in family, among friends, in school or in relationships! Scaring because the distance makes it more hard than I ever imagined.
I am a person who rest nicely within myself. I like to be alone and just make time fly by while doing everything or nothing! I am a loner - and I don't really need company. I would not say I am asocial, because I am not! I just don't NEED to have people around me all the time. My x was the oposite kind. He always had friends over. And their friends and wifes and kids! OR the neighbours .. or someone he just met ... or he wanted us to visit people and I had to make a whole world of excuses of why I couldn't go *sighs*.
But I miss Peter around me - and I feel lonely and half when he is not here. If I never met him, I would not know. What I WOULD know is that something was missing - as I felt in all this years - but I would not know what! It is now, when I know what was missing in my life, I am scared to loose it again! And he thinks like I do, it's still incredible!
When we sat on my balcony and smoked cigars and enjoyed the evening, the silence and each others company, drinking wiskey and wine (I went for the cuba caramel later
) - the moment was so perfect it's hard to describe. It wasn't anything fanzy - just something we did and it felt so good! If the weather was better I am sure we could have been there all night, just pondering about life and our own existens! Even the moment without words was perfect!
This is the man I want to spend my life with!
In game
... I am confused! The fact that the priest is not playing anymore other than coming into game and chat, makes
EU different!
EU was the place were we met and maybe that is why I have great difficulties by leaving? There ARE memories there which I wont leave. But things are not fun anymore. Everything - game, the players - got so serious. I feel like a child who finaly realised that santa doesn't excist. The dissapointment and sadness is overruling! When I log into the game I log in with a positive feeling, that this time I will get the same exciting feeling as I did when it was still fun! But it doesn't happend.
EU got empty and all I think about is how much money I spend and how little I get in return! I have lots of great friends in there - and do understand it has NOTHING to do with you. If it wasn't for you, I would not log in at all!
The priest and I am playing other games together. I am not quite "there" yet, but I feel I am getting to the point were I might be "well done" and ready to enjoy something else fully! I am seriously pondering about selling my skills and only keep the most necessary things to "play" in
EU for fun!
Take care