Well first up you get a big +rep from me for this!
There is alot of work gone into writing this and although I havn't read it all yet just the fact that you have gone to all this trouble deserves the rep.
As I said I havn't read it all yet, but I do plan to and give you some feedback section by section as I go through.
Upto now I have read just the 1st section so here are some comments and constructive critisisms I hope will be useful.
First Thoughts:
Very professional looking, but a little daunting at 71 page. My first though was that this is the start of a comprehensive user manual!
Title: perhaps include the VU number when the guide was last updated.
Section 1:
If you want to make this into a more general handbook, not just something for your disciples but something for all new players, then I suggest a bit of a re-write on this section to contain information about mentoring in general rarther than just your mentoring.
I would specifically add information on ways to find mentors, skill limits on adding disciples and kicking mentors etc.
I think it is very important that something like this stays as the first section, it is important that new players know early about the mentor system. Some may read the first few pages, then go play a bit, and by the time they get to mentoring section they could be passed the level where they can be added.
Perhaps shift the links to an appendix, with an expanded explanation of what each site is, then refer to the appendix both at this point and later in the guide. You could also include some other sites eg
pe-directory, the
eu site itself and the
MA site (I'm sure others will suggest some more!).
Some notes on grammar:
There are a number of grammatical mistakes (although it is perfectly understandable), a couple of examples: 'ill' should be I'll (I will), and the last two sentences in 'What do I offer' section are a little difficult to follow as they stand. It is perfectly correct in English to use the personal pronoun 'he' when the gender of the subject is unknown or unspecified, I personally don't like 'he/she' or '(s)he' but understand that some people feel using just 'he' is introducing sexual bias, I would suggest, instead, using the phrase 'he, or she,' if you are not comfortable using just 'he'.
Finally, you use the abbreviation tt without explaining it, I find it is a good idea to use the full name of something followed by the abbreviation the first time, so 'trade terminal (tt)' and 'teleporter (TP)' after which you can use the abbreviation.
This is not an exhaustive list, if you want I am happy to read through and suggest further corrections as needed.
General comments:
If the rest of your guide is as good as this then I will suggest it to any new players I find. A truely excellent resource.