Nakia's Diary

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

14th June

So I did not get to make any post over the weekend, I have been very busy
and I still am.. but I am writing this while playing some poker so it should be duable

It is very straining to feel like all my time is tied up, I have so many things that I want to do and learn. But it just seems I have no real freetime for it atm.

Mostly it is nice to feel like you have alot to do, but I do miss some things but I am sure I will get time for it all eventually .

I had a little time to write you a poem, for those of u whom reads them:


__________________________________________________ _
Poison:

Your lips so soft
Push them against mine
Let me taste your bitter sweet poison.

Let me believe your lies
Blind me with your words
Tell me about heaven
While u open the gate to hell

Ill tell you my dreams
While you fulfill yours
Ill share my secrets
While you live yours

Let me live in a fairytale
While u live in reality
Tell me about the future
While you live in the present

Break your promises while u blind me

Feed me your bitter sweet poison.


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__________________________________________________ __

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

27th june-07

Hey everybody

Guess many are off for their vacation soon, enjoying the sunshine (for those whom are lucky enough to actually have sun )

Been both very good and not so good days since I wrote last, I tend to keep the bad days out of my diary since I feel it is more valuable to read what matters the most, the joy we have, not the pain we experience.

Ofcouse these go hand in hand without pain there would be no pleasure and vice versa.

today I want to write down a few words about friendship

Had some bad experiences with new friendships, and also been told I have been a not so good friend lately which ofcourse is a painfull thing to hear.

At the moment I have alot of things going on and those keep me very busy, ofcourse it is important not to forget the people whom matters the most, the people whom are close to us and there when we need it.

So as a reminder to all of you and to myself, always find the time for others as well as yourself.
We laugh and cry on the expense of others, without them we would have neither.

__________________________________________________ ______

I know I write very dark poems, but I like the emotion in it.
So here is another one for the collection:

free me:

you suck me in
making me feel sick
making me doubt myself
making me cry

burn me with your words
sounding so sweet
so full of lies

hold me tight
while u wish for something else
kiss me
while u think of someone else

torture me for your pleasure
let your desire ruin me
when you are done, let me fly free
and take away the pain u bring to me

__________________________________________________ ____

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

13th july -07

Been very busy

well I guess many of my last diary entries has started like that lately.

So guess must be true

doing verious graphic work, got my EU related graphic website up and running.
And have been working on other projects too.
Got my new drawing tablet today, so will probably spend some serious time playing with that new few days what more could a girl wish for than new hardware ... Mmm love it !!

Just finished lastest project working with Mrsmith on a new website (I provided graphics)

got it up and running today.. damn been busy week.

But seems to be working now if you want to check out what I have been doing u can see the site Delivermyfiles

it's free to use, so feel free to do so

going to crawl back into my little world of designs and submissions now

will try to keep you updated with what I am doing

kisses Naki

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

15th july -07

My last entries has been pretty short and maybe somewhat unpersonal compared to some of my earlier entries.
But again I am busy I love it, most of what I am doing atm is what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

I believe many may never find what they truely love, what they know with every beat of their heart that they want to do the rest of their living days.

I found mine and I am greatfull that I did, this is not something new, I found out what I wanted to do when I was 15-16 years old.

Sadly there was some boundries to how much I could do back then so I didn't start up for real before I was 18 and could get the gear I needed to start working with graphic. Before then I drew alot irl, paper and pen the simple way, althou I never did expect to be able to use it for all that much when I started making webgraphic. Simple because there is a very big difference on drawing on paper and doing so on a computer. (unless u have the right tools ofcourse)
I started doing simple things like signatures and banners, galleries adds ect.
Then moved on to websites and bigger projects.

Where I am standing today I have the ability to do alot of things I didn't expect to learn. But on your journey you incounter alot of different tasks.
and you always have to adapt to your clients and people whom use your work.
This is part of why I love to do what I do, you are in a constant state of development and expanding your skills. There is always something new to do, something new to learn, I never grow tired of my work for this reason.

I am a quite restless person I like when alot of things happen and would probably not be suited to sit in the same office day in and day out doing the same thing over and over.

Now I am sure you are about to get tired of listening to why I love what I do , I'm sorry but you know how it is when you have a passion for something, you can go on and on and on..

I will try to shorten it down,

I got me a new tool for my work, A drawing tablet so I now again can draw like I used to do.

I am sure back then there was no such thing (god that makes me sound old ) today it is posible to get simply amazing tools to draw on which is working with the graphic program I use.

I will display some drawing work soon, I still have 50% to go on the toon I am working on now so will be a day or two more

now, what else did I want to talk about, yes well there was actually a reason I wanted to talk a bit about my job.
I wanted to post a small reminder to all of you guys out there too, to never give up your dreams, don't become yet another person whom just "settles" for what is convinient. Work twords your dreams and goals. It might not be the easy road or the most profitable, but does that make you more happy in the end ? to know you never got to do what you really wanted.

Don't let others tell you that your dreams are silly, afterall it is your dream not theirs.

I know many adjusts their lifes to other people or their life cirkumstances, and I understand. I am just wanting to remind you that it might not make you happy.
Never give up on what you want, because it will never be handed to you on a silver plate (well chances of that happening is same as winning the lottery anyways)

For those who cannot drop everything to do what they want I am sure you have at least a few spare hours / week to work on it

Nothing is imposible if you want it enough.


__________________________________________________ ____
Dream

Show me the colors of your soul
Show me where your dreams lie
Be for me what I want to be for you
My strenght thru weakness
My shoulder thru sorrow

Ill be yours
for all my heart lies with you
Thru the good and the bad
Hold you when you get scared
Incourage you when you doubt

Don't let your dreams fall
Keep them close
Keep them in mind
And carry them in your heart

For they will stay with you
Till the end and maybe thru eternity.



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__________________________________________________ ____

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

18th july -07

g'day ya all

so it is yet another beautyfull summer morning, and I started my day together with John... you know John Mayer

Well okay maybe he werent here but listened to him

And yes he is hawt and yea I might have bad taste ?

Anyways he has written one of my favorite songs.. well he has written alot of very good songs. He is a great artist at least imo. You should give his (Continuum) album a listen, kinda blues genre on that one

Great for candle nights

oh where was I ... ah yea I wanted to share a lyric

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

14th August´-07

To my father

3 years passed since you died, spend the night thinking about old memories and lit a candle for you.

know you are watching down on me and keeping me safe.

I love you,



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[Nakia]

Dear Diary

30th september 07

Not been posting much here simply cause there has been much to do and ive been makeing some real life changes, even been without internet for a week+

I moved, got a new boyfriend IRL, well he is my ingame boyfriend too so hands off ladies

been setting up office, and have some renovating work to do. Besides from that been doing a little graphic work for a few people, felt so good to get back to do that.

Now, well now I am settling in and enjoying everything. Hunting an ATH ingame ( this might take some years ) so ongoing project I guess you can call it

what else do I have to say right now ? well im looking for a RL graphic job, so hopefully that will happen, would be nice to go back to fulltime graphic work. Been playing poker for a year and time to do something more.

will update some threads with my latests graphic work when the new owner of the graphic has released it himself (dont wanna ruin the suprice)


For my man mmm love you so !!! *kisses*

For all of you, never give up, happiness is for everyone to have and all to obtain. im feeling very very happy atm, and plan on staying happy

Over and out for now