Nakia's Diary

[Nakia]

So been here for quite some time, alot of you have probably seen me around here at some point or another, or ingame.

I enjoy writting, about everything and nothing. Give my views on relavant issues or just plain old funny things.

As my EF profile space has grown short and I do not wish to edit out things everytime I want to add something new I now feel the time is right to make a diary. For those who chose to read in cool, but I beg of you do not send me pm's for every post I make. I love relavent feedback and that is very welcome in PM's

I will try to stay clear of mentioning names on other ppl in here as the rules apply to the diaries as well. I will only post names of ppl whom is okay with it.

now lets get the ball rollin` ?
__________________________________________________ _____________
Nakia is born; 30th Dec 2004
Pernille (that would be Nakia's mistress aka me) is born; 14th may 1983

which makes her; a bit over 2 years old
and me.... OLD

This is me
was posted in show ya face but, well ill post it here instead.


Click to enlarge

So I have spend a fair share of time on calypso, alot of good and also some not so nice experiences.
I will not tell about it all you would probably have fallen asleep before I ever finished doing that, and frankly I think I would put myself to sleep too, which would mean I would never get this damn thing posted.

Why I am playing PE is simple, it's filled with ppl whom I have grown to love, ofcourse there are also ppl who I do not get along with but those are few and easy to ignore.
My profession is hunting, and dropping an occasional bomb or probe when there is some running to do before I reach the next red dot on radar.

Fav mobs are;

Aurli
Hogglo
Atrax
Atrox

Fav mining spots;
Anywhere pretty
__________________________________________________ ___

I guess ill post a little about me in RL too, so here goes.

ill start with my feminine hobbies
Painting,
Horseback riding <-- (have not done this for a few years thou but count it in since I spend 8 years of my life on it)
Graphics,
Writting poetry

and
Bikeing/bikes,
cars (I have no licens which is prob a good thing )
MMORPG,
Poker,
BlackJack
Music (this is put in the not so feminine category because it is not pop music lol)

Most ppl around here thinks I am crazy, the same goes for the ppl around me in RL. I rather take that as a compliment, who wants to be like everyone else, I just wanna be me, if that makes me crazy then crazy it is.

I am not a shy person because I believe that is a waste of time and energy.

Now ill post a few poems, they are already in my EF profile but for those whom has been to lazy to read thru all that shit you can read them here too...
Hmm wait.. the ppl who has been to lazy to read that prob also to lazy to read all this ?

Well anyways if you missed it ill post it here

__________________________________________________ ____________

Angel

You lift me up so high,
Only to let me fall.
Landing on a bed of red roses
Thorns so sharp, peddles so soft.

White skin made of silk,
Covored in gorgeous red.
Eyes shining in the darkness
Burning with fury, but full of love.

Sweet and innocent angel,
Handled by the devil.
On her delicate knees
Wanting more, but begging for relief.
__________________________________________________ _____________

Wondering

Restless, never ending
Wondering when you will carry me there
ravage me, leave me hollow
take my body leave my soul

Painfull, never ending
Wondering why the best can be the worst
hold me, fill me with passion
take my heart releif my sorrow
__________________________________________________ ____________

Well I could keep writting the rest of the day without any problems but if someone is actually going to read it I guess I should limit it a little.
Before I end this for today... hmm I might write more later today.. end it for now

then I would like to write a message to my guardian angel.
A very special person I met in this univers, without this angel I am positive I would have lost some of my spirit to keep going in alot of different matters.
(this is not a romantic relationship) but without a doubt the best virtual friend I will ever have.

so here is a flower for the time you give me, for the thoughts you share with me, for the comfort you provide, for the adwise which leads me, for the support which keeps me going and for catching a fallen angel.

My thoughts goes to you time and time again.

@]---;----:------------------------
Found a line and then it grew
I found myself still thinking of you
I felt so empty and now I'm fine


Too much of the same stories in our lives
I think it's time for change, don't you?
Too much of the same stories in our lives
I think it's time for us to walk away from here.

Stories in our lives, keep them all inside
Stories in our lives, keep them all inside

Now look at me still in your mind
Our memories so intertwined
Well you broke through and found your way
And so did I no need to stay
Same old picture tride and true
We've been through that
lets look for something new


okay guys I am signing out of this thread for now. bbl

[Nakia]

Dear diary

17th April-07

Those kind of days
Woke up late after a bad dream, stumble to the kitchen just to find there is no breakfast.. I knew I should have bought twice as much last time I went shopping. trow on some cloth and head for the store, ofcourse !! it is windy like hell and I put on summercloth seeing the sun was shining. Chose to just go there, get met by a super happy storeowner, find it rather annoying someone can be that happy on what could apear to become a shitty day. So I find what I need fast and leave. walk 100 meters just to remember I forgot something and have to go back Anyone know this feeling, those days that just leaves you with a giant headache before they have even started.

__________________________________________________ _________
funny how the smallest things can make everything seem shi*ty, I mean there are so many problems in the world around us, things that are so much bigger. Things people often chose not to think about because it is just to hard. If we just all thought about it more often would it help ?
Do you remember to tell the ppl around you that you apreciate what they do for you and that you have them in your life ?

you know you should right ?

I have gotten better at it over the past year, but I probably still do not do it often enough, just seems easier to leave it for another day. But who says you will be around that day, or that they will. I have lost family and luckily I got to tell them what they meant to me before they died, well in particular I am talking about my father whom died at the age of 44. not only death can part people and in honesty I feel like he is still here, at least in some way.

For the people who is reading in (if any) I would suggest you spend 30 min today reminding the ppl close to you that they matter to you, friends family and virtual friends whom may have been there for you.
And plz do not think I am to busy today, because that is a real bad excuse, tomorrow you will push it aside and the day after tomorrow maybe even forget, so chop chop

I will post a thanks to some of the ppl you guys probably know too, and take the rest outside of the forum:

__________________________________________________ ___________
A thanks

Aviril: Thank you for your friendship ingame and IRL, I am so happy for the latest even that has happened in your life. It is truely a pleasure to see you smile,to see the light in your eyes when you tell me about the things you have a passion for. I am positive this summer will be one of the best in your life, so focus on all the positive and live life to it's fullest !

MrSmith:
Thank you for beeing whom you are, thank you for always bringing a smile to my face even on the days I have made up my mind everything is going to be crappy.
Thank you for the advice you give, and the time you have spend on our talks.
Spend less time on work and more on enjoying you deserve it, never forget that you have wants and needs too, don't always only consern yourself about others.

Oberon: I thanked you yesterday too, you are my guardian angel. I just want to say, follow your heart and do the things that brings true value in your life.
I know you feel consern for others and I have no doubt you spend many hours helping ppl as well as enjoying your work and the things you do.
So take a day for your pleasure alone and do something you have always wanted to do.

Skam: you are the one I have spend the least time talking to of the above people, but I want to say a thanks to you too. You seem to be a truely special person and I rather enjoy our small talks. We seem to have some things in common, alot more than I would have thought some months back.
I am so happy for you and ripper and I hope you guys will have alot of happy moments in front of you.

@--;-----:--------

[Nakia]

just spend 30 min playing sum with a picture, now my headache is even worse, but had fun figured I would share didn't go in to much detail since just doing this was rather painfull, painfull but fun never the less


Click to enlarge

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

18th April-07

Where did the day go ? not been extermely busy but somehow the day went by without me noticing. Dedicated myself to some photoshopping today, and it will be a long project to finish, I might post it here when it is done.

For now I am going to take a break from it and get working on some poker, make some money is always good before going on hunts pretty sure I will lose as usual, but hey it is fun right?

Little Note to self; don't critisize MA they will take away your HoFs or maybe I am just back to my usual unlucky looting, that is probably the case, and another 1½ years to go to the next good loot. Just gotta hang in there I guess

Maybe if the weather will allow it I can go outside with the laptop and do my graphics there, would be nice to get rid of my PE tan.


ah and I took this test today, the outcome was:

You scored as You are half Fallen/ half Light Angel!.



You go between being both a Fallen Angel and an Angel of Light.You can\'t seem to make up your mind and so one today you may be one and tomorrow the other!

now where did I put my wings ???

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

19th april

Rain
Was really hopeing for sun today, but I guess checking the weather forecast could have saved me from getting disapointed when hearing the rain brush against my window.

I sigh as I go to look out the window, ppl running for shelter as mother nature cleans the buldings, roads and everything in her path. It's not a warm rain, as I open the window to take a breahe of fresh air it sends chills down my spine. I so love the rain on the warm days, like a new beginning. Today wont be like that, but I must admit even thou the cold keep me from going out I do enjoy listening to the sound as the water breaks against my window glass. My father used to tell me that when it rains it is the angels crying, on the warm days they cry for joy and the cold they cry for sorrow.
Silly eh ? or they must be real sad in the fall, but maybe they just dislike knowing the cold is comming as much as me.

Angel
I don't believe in angels as a true beeing, I beleive we all have an angel in us.Some lets their shine brighter than others, and some forget that it is there as they go thru life and fight the battles we all have to face. We are all born pure. It is how we live, how we breathe and how we chose to fight our battles that shapes the person we become. Some are born in the light while others are forced to walk in the shadow, it can shape us but it willl never define whom we are.


Click to enlarge

Mornings
Now where was I ? ah yeah, morning, the start of every day not my personal favorite time, as I am not really a morning person. But never the less it is the start of every single day. The start of something potentually good. The best mornings is the once without the alarm waking me up, where I get to wake slowly, have time to stretch and slowly adjust my eyes to the light.

Today is a regular thursday morning, got up early and still trying to get rid of the annoying yawns which keeps accuring. I guess I should have gone to bed earlier than I did, but poker was good and had made promisses to watch a movie.

now I will go shower as I do every morning, make some tea and maybe get some breakfast, but will check in later <3
__________________________________________________ ____________
He holds me tight
Feeling my every breathe
Fragile in his hands
While the rain falls

Every cold drop
Like tears from heaven
Cleans my soul
Whispers of the past,
Stories of a future

Count the drops
Track their trails
Wash away my scars
Feel my pain,
Bring me light

Heavenly creatures
Fountain of life
Hear my prayers
Tell me why,
Show me how

__________________________________________________ _____________

someone sent me this one:

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love

__________________________________________________ ___________

Some ppl asking about my tattoo, I do not feel like posting it in show ya face but you can have a few here


Click to enlarge

secound is a bit harder to see it.


Click to enlarge

Anyways yes I have two hearts one black one red.

[Nakia]

Continued

19th April -07

Other post would get a bit long if I edited more in it I guess, I am trying to make it as easy as posible to read in.

So I got a question I would like to give a responce to

I got asked howcome I chose to share so many of my personal / private thoughts.

Well because I really want to show a different side of who I am. I think most base their opinion of me from the posts I make, I like to kid around and also stirr up a bit of hardcore debating now and then.

I want people to see me as a person, not just an avatar. And maybe they will think a bit more about that next time they run into another avatar ingame.
I chose how much I want to share, so I do not see it as becomming a problem, rather chose to see it as a positive thing that I can get to share some deeper thoughts Ofcouse there will probably be fun and kidding around here too when the mood calls for that
I hope that answered the question, also if anyone else has been thinking about this @--;----:-------

__________________________________________________ _____________

Now I am going to log for some poker I guess, and hopeing for that hunting ATH to drop tonight, sure would be nice.
And yes I know I already got an ATH, but that one I shared with someone else and I would like to get one in my own profession. Estimated timeframe for it actually happening... uhm 1-2 years maybe never. But who knows, others have gotten more than 1, so I can always hope right, miracles do happen

Quick edit:
Just wanted to say thanks to the peeps who has been reading in and the reps I have gotten, very kind and ty for the comments

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

20th April -07

My day today has been overall good, spend some time shopping for summercloth which was ofcourse enjoyable, except for the 500 other ppl whom had gotten the same idea as me. Been messing alot with graphics today and ended up making pointless things like smileys, but I guess there has to be room for the silly things too for it to stay enjoyable to make new things. The longer projects often can leave you feeling rather emptied for ideas and joy of creating.

Any of you guys series fans ?
I watch different series while I play poker doing the evening, to make it less borring to sit and wait for the hands you can actually play. Bones/CSI/prison break/heroes is some of which I enjoy looking at while waiting.

I have made up my mind that I RLY need a hunt today, just so damn sucky that the poker is SUPREME doing the weekends where I would much rather be ingame with everyone else. Keep telling myself I will get an hour soon but then I win alot and think I better keep playing poker .....

Hopefully all the crazy poker players are on vacation today so I can go hunt some big mobs and get poor loot, just the way I like it .. .. well I like killing the big ones at least

__________________________________________________ ________
Just testing my "make war then love" smiley I made today... and yes I know the real saying is make love not war.. I just think the other one is more fun




and I made another one too, I guess I should really do something with more sence than making smileys but they are kinda cute so couldn't help myself when I saw some other EF ppl had made some



__________________________________________________ _____

[Nakia]

Dear Diary

23rd April

Awesome

Had a really good day today in so many ways I will not incluede you in all the details of it, but has been really good indeed. Lots of talking (yes we all know I like to talk)
Lots of love
and I have felt rested and full of life and energy.

The weekend has been really good too, Went for a run yesterday (well I had no comp so had to do something right ? ) and tbh TV doesn't mean much to me, pretty much see it as braindead entertainment, computers you at least have to interact and use your head a little. So I ran 4 kilometers (I am not used to running so that was ALOT for me) and I walked 3 kilometers. I took walking breaks in between the running to not die. we have a great track in a forrest not far from here, there is lights all the way around on the track in the evening and most of the time it is not to muddy to run or walk there since they put out sawdust on it once in a while. I chose the 5 kilometer track (there is a 2.5 and a 5) I walked there and walked home, when I was done had a cold shower, and damn just felt so good to be out and doing something physical. Today I have more than enough pain in my behing and thighs, but it is a good kind of pain and I am actually considering starting to do it on a regular basis (yea I know I used to think ppl who run R crazy too) but I can see the attraction now. You feel so free, releif all thoughts and just focus on the next step, next hill, the nature you pass, the clean air. ofcourse beeing a newbie I had to focus on pulse, breathe and some pain too. But man it was so worth it, 1½ hour of total freedom. Gonna invest in some better shoes and see if I can keep myself in line and get off my ass to take a daily trip. In the beginning I will probably have to do a few times of just walking thou, like today. To painfull to run, at least untill you get the muschels warmed up nicely.

Okay I realise very little of my diary has involved my ingame life, but I mostly write what I feel in the spare of the moment and so it has been mostly about the RL, also alot of things ingame could improve and I would hate to make this a whining place, I want to to share my feelings and thoughts, rather not make it alot of bad ones.

I had a really sweet hogglo hunt in team, we were on a roll and I was playing most of the evening, got 450 ped as the biggest ped value loot, not even enough for HoF list but was still damn nice, then a 300 and 220 and a 95 ped ESI, and 2 small ESI's (below 20) both of us had a huge profit and a great time.

__________________________________________________ __________
A small lyric for you too: althou maybe can be seen as depressing I find it rather cool !

We've waited far to long to, watch it all crash and fall through,
So when you feel like shit you gotta keep on pushing,
If you saw the world through my eyes, then you wouldn't feel so high rise,
Its time to take our chance you gotta sit back and hold tight.

There's forces working in our heads but we don't understand them,
I need a map to find my way out all the time,
Theres curses lurking in our heads but we don't want to find them,
We need to come back down and face what we've become.

The more I think the more I wish I could push stop then hit rewind,
What I would give to have a day back then when no one really cares,
I remember when we all used to kick back take days off school,
So many times I've smiled so many times I cried but never did we try,
Never did we try, because.
__________________________________________________ ___________
And a small poem (yes yet again) I have many inside


Give me wings to fly
Let my hand touch the sky
Before forcing my return
Only to lead me there again
Show me the color of passion
Let me feel your heart
As we fall together

Bring me your pain
But give it with tenderness
Lead me thru the dark
Let me fall hard, but land soft
Show me strenght
You are the one
The only who can take me there

~Nakia~