Robot News

[Midori Fairlona]

Originally Posted by Rayne Jade

Same here... we cannot tune to a channel...? Do we wait until that part is over and then the robot news starts..?

Yep. It is on a loop between the two shows right now. Robot News follows the interview.

[Dion Red Strike]

Originally Posted by Midori Fairlona

Yep. It is on a loop between the two shows right now. Robot News follows the interview.

What she said... the interview with Alf will be going on tomorrow, so it'll be on the radio soon hopefully as well

[711]

Originally Posted by Frank|MindArk

Can't we get an Entropia Radio button on the front page of the Forum? Just one click and it turns on? 711?

A link to an EntropiaForum-based player for EntropiaRadio now has been added to the navigation bar (at the top of every EF page) for easy access to EntropiaRadio.

Enjoy.

[Midori Fairlona]

The next edition of the Robot News has been intercepted and I am working on re-encoding it for broadcast. Hopefully I should have it ready to send through to 711 shortly.

In the mean time, here is a transcript of the last broadcast.

Announcer:
There now follows a broadcast by the Robot Propaganda Division.

PK4:
Robot News!
Bringing you the breaking stories from across the cosmos.
Coming up on today's robot news:

C5D:
Human slaughters Human at Land Grab.

PK4:
Unit 6T Beta launches internal beacon investigation.

C5D:
And Miner Bot Kappa 3 Niner, strikes it big at Treasure Island.

PK4:
Greetings to the mechanised races.
I am PK4.

C5D:
And I am C5D.

PK4:
Our main story today, is the recent slaughter of hundreds of humans at an event called "Land Grab." From eye witness reports the victims gathered at strange totem-like structures, only to pull out their weapons and fire on each other in an apparent attempt at mass suicide.
Colonel Clank, commander of the 4th Mechanised Infantry is on the line with an eye witness report.
Colonel Clank. It is good to have you on the program.

Colonel Clank:
Thank you PK4, I am glad to be here.

PK4:
Can you please tell our audience what it was you observed at this so called "Land Grab?"

Colonel Clank:
Certainly.
Our forces had observed unusual movements among the human population recently, and I led a scout team to Myrene Island to investigate.
On arriving at the island we observed humans leaving the local teleporter and congregating around a large pole. The humans then began filling the air with incessant chatter before pulling their guns out and firing on each other. Once the corpses from the first slaughter were cleared, a new group of humans would arrive and attempt to kill the others at the pole.
This process was repeated many times over half a day.

PK4:
How many humans were killed?

Colonel Clank:
It is not possible to give an accurate figure due to the sheer chaos of the situation. However, our estimates suggests the death toll ran in to the thousands.

PK4:
Was this an isolated case?

Colonel Clank:
No. Orbital observation platforms monitored activity at several sites across the planet. The true death toll may never be known.

PK4:
Does this mean that the humans are losing their grip on Calypso?

Colonel Clank:
Unfortunately not. This unusual behaviour has been observed on 2 previous occasions. Despite the high death tolls, both events seemed to lead to an increase in human activity on the planet.
Due to the huge increase in population in spite of the slaughter, we can only speculate that the behaviour is related to the humans herding instinct. The herd migrates to the polls, and the strongest are encouraged to dispose of their weaker rivals to improve their chance of success in mating rituals which we assume must follow the migration.
This can be the only explanation for the sudden increase in population.

PK4:
So "Land Grab" is a migrating and mating ritual conducted by the human herd?

Colonel Clank:
Exactly.

PK4:
Colonel Clank, I thank you for your time.

C5D:
In news closer to home now, Unit 6T Beta has launched an investigation into the handling of beacons after it was revealed that many have fallen into the hands of humans on Calypso.
R4 is at the central repository with this report.

R4:
In a statement from the central repository today, it was revealed that an inventory check had found a large number of automated beacons have gone missing from the Kappa Fleet. The check had been ordered following last week's suspension of Captain Glut. The Captain had been found drinking crude oil from the fleets stores while he should have been on duty.
The inventory check highlighted a number of failings and missing equipment, including the loss of over 500 automated beacons.
The beacons are very dangerous in the wrong hands, and some senior officials have linked them to the recent disappearance of several vessels in orbit of Calypso.
The curator of the Central Repository, Unit 6T Beta, has demanded an accounting of every single loss, and vowed that servos will roll when those responsible are found.

C5D:
Thank you R4, for that report.

PK4:
And finally, we offer congratulations today to Miner Bot Kappa 3 Niner, who struck a massive find of binary fluid on Treasure Island. With an estimated value of 500,000 credits it is the biggest find on record. Mining analysts have declared the find an all time high, and we wish Miner Bot Kappa 3 Niner all the best of luck in his well deserved retirement.

Announcer:
That was this weeks edition of the Robot News; your hosts were PK4 and C5D.
This program was brought to you by the Robot Propaganda Division.
May death come to the Humans!

[711]

The latest Robot News broadcast has now been deciphered and added to the EntropiaRadio playlist.

Thanks Midori!

[DeeDee]

Very nice, loved it! :-)

[Danoclese]

Oooooo....can't wait to listen to it!!!

DEATH to Colonel Clank!!!!

[Kaitlyn]

Awesome and so much fun to listen to...thank you for all your hard work!!!

[Midori Fairlona]

Here is the transcript from the second broadcast.

Announcer:
There now follows a broadcast by the Robot Propaganda Division.

PK4:
Robot News!
Bringing you the breaking stories from across the cosmos.
Coming up on today's robot news:

C5D:
Humans launch surprise attack on Calypso.

PK4:
And work nears completion at Akbal Central Market

C5D:
Greetings to the mechanised races.
I am C5D.

PK4:
And I am PK4.

C5D:
We begin today's broadcast with news of a cowardly attack on our forces by elite Human units.
Unfortunately the primary communication lines were damaged during the engagement. So details of the battle are still coming in. However, it is believed that many...

Oh!

I have just been informed that we have established a connection to the secondary command centre in eastern Amethera. Colonel Clank joins us on the line now.
Colonel Clank? Can you hear me?

Colonel Clank:
Yes. I can hear you.

C5D:
Can you tell us what happened?

Colonel Clank:
We have come under heavy assault from human forces all across Calypso. Positions have been attacked on Eudoria and Amethera in three co-ordinated waves in less than 24 hours.
We are still trying to regroup, but it appears we have suffered heavy losses during the engagement.

C5D:
That sounds terrible! Are you able to give us any details of the number of casualties?

Colonel Clank:
We are still receiving reports even now, but it appears that we have lost at least 2 divisions of Drones, a brigade of Warriors and 4 companies of Second Entities. In addition we have lost contact with a number of Trooper patrol groups and a whole contingent of Miner bots.
However, in a surprise twist given the scale of the assault we have confirmed that losses to our Attacker units have been minimal.

C5D:
Is there any indication of the purpose behind the humans' attack?

Colonel Clank:
None. Despite the massive firepower deployed by the humans across the whole planet no attempt was made to attack any of our primary installations. Our forces were beaten back severely by the onslaught, yet there appeared to be no strategic goal that the humans were aiming for. Even the damage to our primary communication line appears to have been the result of a stray bullet.
We can only conclude that this was either the opening salvo of a larger conflict or simply a random act of animal insanity.

C5D:
From what you have said it sounds like our forces were taken completely off guard. Were you not prepared for this assault?

Colonel Clank:
Unfortunately we received no warning of the attack and the intelligence reports given to our commanders the day before provided no clue as to the humans' intentions.

C5D:
So you are blaming this catastrophe on poor intelligence rather than poor leadership?

Colonel Clank:
Of course I am blaming this on poor intelligence!
If the intelligence division had done its job properly we wouldn't have been caught with our rust guards down.

C5D:
I see. So what do you intend to do next?

Colonel Clank:
Tomorrow I will be returning to Akbal to make my formal report to the central repository. However, as soon as I am finished I am going to march up to the head of the intelligence division and stick this wrench <line breaks off>

C5D:
Oh dear. We appear to have lost contact with Colonel Clank.

PK4:
Joining us in the studio now is Brain Bot 5000, a member of the intelligence division.
Brain Bot 5000, is Colonel Clank's assessment of the situation correct? Was this disaster caused by poor intelligence?

Brain Bot 5000:
I think we should first clarify that this is not a disaster. This was simply a strategic move by our forces to give the humans a false sense of security.
I am sure that when the official tally of casualties is released we will find that losses were not as great as we first feared.

PK4:
I see. So this defeat was merely a ruse? We wanted the humans to think we are weak?

Brain Bot 5000:
Yes. With them thinking us weak they have now let down their guard and our next major assault will be much more effective.

PK4:
Indeed. But Colonel Clank didn't mention any of this when we talked to him just now.

Brain Bot 5000:
To ensure that the humans did not learn of our intelligence gathering abilities we did not bother to inform our commanders of the impending attack. This also allowed our forces to show a genuine reaction of surprise at the scale of the assault.
What we told Colonel Clank and the other commanders was that the humans were planning to hold a sporting event called "World of Firepower."
Of course, we knew all along that this was merely a cover story for the attack.
We could even call this a victory of our intelligence over that of the humans.

PK4:
Thank you Brain Bot 5000. I am sure we are all eager to see more robot victories like the kind we have just witnessed.

C5D:
And in news on the home front now, the Akbal Central Market will be closed from 02:00 to 03:00 for planned maintenance work as repairs to the old oil bar nears completion.

Announcer:
That was this weeks edition of the Robot News; your hosts were PK4 and C5D.
This program was brought to you by the Robot Propaganda Division.
May death come to the Humans!

I haven't picked up any new robot transmissions yet, so it will probably be a few days before the next broadcast.

[Dextar]

MORE Robot NEWS!!!

Luv it!!!!



Dex