Boy meets new world

[Apple GREEN]

Day one, part 1:

I woke up with ringing in my head...First thought was : "gravity has caused a concussion, and I needed a medic...'' Only seconds after it hit me: it was wake up bell ringing right above my head. (piece of advice: don’t make fun of captain’s make up – she’s the one to assign the sleeping spots).. Curiosity was eating me from inside. Thoughts were crossing left and right through my head, zigzagging from the sounds of still ongoing alarm.. Earth was far away, and I was missing it already: ok, it was dirty, polluted and disgusting, but it was mine, and oh so familiar dirt vs whatever was expecting me here…Calypso – who the hell came up with that name? Had to be some psycho from California!! Captain came out of the cockpit and asked everyone to undress..Well, she didn’t really ask as much as commanded that, in a tone that even the cockiest of the cocky ones obeyed. Standing next to each other, on a spaceship, butt naked, hugging ourselves to warm up a bit, didn’t really add confidence to our confused group. “Oh, how cute, did the turtle get afraid? ” laughed another female crew member after looking at my underbelly.. CRAP, if I wanted this, I could stay on earth. I mean, this wasn’t really what to my understanding meant “building a new and better life”!! But being a man, I could handle anything, even some humiliation. After we got hosed down (a shower they called it), everyone received an orange jump suit, got a wish good luck and was let into the world. We were with about 20 men and women, looking at the world around us with round baby eyes, herding together like sheep on valium, absorbing the air around and listening to the new sounds around. After standing there for hours, not sure what to do, stomach of the guy next to me said “grrbrrmrr”.. My stomach answered in the same language, and pretty soon all 20 of them were having a heated discussion, and even though none of us spoke that language we knew: it’s time to eat!!!
Standing there, eyeballing the surroundings, all we saw was grass and some plants, that in our circumstances looked delicious. I decided that if I am indeed a man, there should be no fear in me to try that stuff. When I suggested trying eating it, others didn’t really try to stop me, so I ripped a peace of leaf next to my foot and carefully placed it in my mouth.. Crowd watched curiously while I chewed, some holding their breath. Can’t really say the taste of it was good, but my stomach whispered “peace” to others and started eagarly digesting it. “It’s ok” – I proclaimed sticking my finger in the sky, and everybody jumped at the plants around, fighting for a juicier leaves, loughing with their mouth full and burping purple bubbles. It was then I felt that something wasn’t going right…

Day 1 part 2

Can’t say there was something to complain about: hunger was gone, bad aftertaste on my tongue was bearable, purple bubbles coming from peoples mouths were kind of joyful and created dreamy ambiance: it made me think of Gummy Bears, and that is always positive. Yet there was some uncomfort around, and I couldn’t figure it out. It felt like there was somebody near us, yet there was nothing to point finget at,except for a huge booger on the upper lip of collegue-colonist, who presented himself as Anigav Attala…Finally Anigav scratched his face, felt the booger and took it between his fingers.. He looked left and right very casually and even more casually placed the bugger in his mouth. Not a spectacle for those with a weak stomach, especially after eating purple grass. so I took a deep breath and concentrated on the situation. The investigator in me said-“ go check things out”, the inner child wept: “why the hell did we come here, so stupid, I’ll never trust another ad in my life!!!”. Inner child was a tough little bugger but investigator still kicked ass, so I got up and asked if anyone wanted to join me and see what was going on.. Silence was the answer: some suddenly became very interested in dirt under their nails, others fell asleep instantly, and some just realized their ears didn’t recover from the flight yet and couldn’t hear me at all, browsing around, eyeballing the sky…”Well, the hell with you cowards” I thought and went into the wild..
After walking for 5 minutes a building appeared right in front of me, heavy gravitational force kicked in, and seconds later I heard words that would haunt me for the rest of my life: “FUCKING LAGGG!!! “ I was never much of a dancer, but right now the Brooklin Gang would be jelous of my Electric Boogey .The more steps I took, the more people and buildings appeared before me, moving back and forth, yelling, running, in all shapes and colors, dressed in the most outrageous outfits, wearing some kind of protection, naked, neurotically jumping, laughing and interacting in all possible languages. Cute girl approached me: “wanna see me neked? Only 10 ped!”.”10 what???”: was my natural question. “10 ped you stupid noob!!”..
Hmm, the only part I understood was that I was stupid, and to be honest, it was hard to argue because that’s exactly how I felt.. Suddenly I heard a roar, and was just in time to jump away from a huge dinosaur, some guy in yellow tin can yelled “get lost, noob!!” (this name seemes to stick on me. Hmmmm, NOOB - not bad! Sounds strong, rough, manly). It all became too much, my head started to spin, purple bubbles got mixed with little turtles, naked girls and dinosaurs..After that it all turned black…

[PW3CKA]

rofl, i want next chapter ! this is like comercial for new book :F past it all you bastard!!! :D

[Kaitlyn]

Yeah....give us more...you left us hanging...whats next?

[FilthyMcNasty]

Seriously, you should have been an author

*Will stay tuned*

[dj.]

Dammit, dont eat the plants by the landing bay, they are polluted!!

(look forward to reading more)

[711]

Entertaining story!

Threads like this belong in the EU Creative > Fan Fiction forum. Please post future episodes there, thanks!

[Adamas]

Good Read, Please post more.

[Apple GREEN]

Originally Posted by 711

Entertaining story!

Threads like this belong in the EU Creative > Fan Fiction forum. Please post future episodes there, thanks!

sorry, my bad

[FilthyMcNasty]

Originally Posted by dj.

Dammit, dont eat the plants by the landing bay, they are polluted!!

So that's what's wrong with me....

[Apple GREEN]

Day 2 part 1

Whooosh, it felt like my entire brain was puked out by an Australian toilet, you know – the kind where water spins the other way when flushed. It took a millisecond to remember what happened, but I didn’t hurry to open eyes, laying there full of shame, predicting that there is a crowd gathered around me, feeling sorry and just watching me, discussing my embarrassing position. Than a firm slap on my cheek, followed by 3 more (that was unnecessary) signaled – time to open eyes and face the consequences!…and so I did… To my surprise there weren’t many people around as far as I could see, and I couldn’t see much because Anigav’s big round head was blocking the view.” Wake up man, wake up!!” – He yelled in my ear 3 times and slapped me again. “What the hell are you doing, stop it, I’m ok” – that is what was supposed to come out of my mouth, but in reality it sounded something like “whae’el awuwuin, op i’, awoei”..Yep yep, my tongue was swollen and filled my mouth like a Double Whopper WITH cheese. Damn purple grass!!! Then I thought of how that grass will be exiting my body, and a tear started to gather at the right corner of my left eye.
I noticed some guy, with blue hair, blue eyes, same color shirt and a pair of dirty underwear, standing next to my torturer. He saw me looking, gave a hand, pulled me up and said: “Heya mate, rough day? . “You said it mister”. I thought it, but didn’t even try to pronounce. Anigav seemed very exciting- :”our troubles are gone, this is Sexy Bull Riding, he said he’ll take care of us, he was kind enough to take us as disciples”. “Wewi wuww wilwing???”, “yes, that’s he’s name, that’s how he expresses himself, isn’t it cool??” My life experience has taught me that people rarely do something for nothing, and there was something fishy about this guy. Couldn’t really understand what was alarming me: his name, his eyes that never stayed still, or his dirty underwear with a devilish stain on a side. Or was it a small red fish with huge teeth he was holding? I wasn’t sure why, yet a woodpecker would die of concussion before I’d trust him.
“Let’s go, Sexy’ll show yall around” – proclaimed our new mentor pointing his finger up like a roman senator would do, scratched his leg with fish’s teeth and started walking.