Murphys Law, The complete works.

[Usurper]

MURPHY'S LAW: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Murphy's First Corollary: Left to themselves,
things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Second Corollary: It is impossible to make
anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious

Murphy's Constant: Matter will be damaged in
direct proportion to its value

Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law:
Everything goes wrong all at once.

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage Time flies
like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Firestone's Law of Forecasting: Chicken Little
only has to be right once.

Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming
to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Grizzard's truism: The trouble with most jobs is the job
holder's resemblance to being one of a sled dog team.
No one gets a change of scenery except the lead dog.

Cannon's Comment: If you tell the boss you were late for
work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you
will have a flat tire.

O'Toole's Commentary: Murphy was an optimist.

Scott's Second Law: When an error has been detected
and corrected, it will be found to have been correct
in the first place.

Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works,
something has gone wrong.

Finagle's Second Law: No matter what the experiment's result,
there will always be someone eager to:
(a) misinterpret it.
(b) fake it. or
(c) believe it supports his own pet theory.

Finagle's Third Law: In any collection of data,
the figure most obviously correct, beyond all
need of checking, is the mistake.

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up,
anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Gumperson's Law: The probability of anything
happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

Rudin's Law: In crises that force people to choose among
alternative courses of action,
most people will choose the worst one possible.

Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit.

Ehrman's Commentary Things will get worse before
they will get better.
Who said things would get better?

Commoner's Second Law of Ecology: Nothing ever goes away.

Howe's Law: Everyone has a scheme that will not work.

Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics:
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan
them is to use a bigger can.

Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: Negative expectations yield
negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.

Klipstein's Law: Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally
toward maximum difficulty of assembly.
Interchangeable parts won't.
You never find a lost article until you replace it.

Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness: The perceived usefulness
of an article is inversely proportional to
its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

Lewis' Law: No matter how long or hard you shop for an item,
after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
You get the most of what you need the least.

The Airplane Law: When the plane you are on is late,
the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

Etorre's Observation: The other line moves faster.

O'Brien's Variation: If you change lines, the one you just
left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

The Queue Principal: The longer you wait in line, the greater the
likelihood that you are in the wrong line.

[Usurper]

First Law of Revision: Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed
to the designer after - and only after - the plans are complete.
(Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law)

Corollary I: In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way
versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose
the wrong way so as to expedite subsequent revision.

H.B. Fyfe Second Law of Revision: The more innocuous the modification
appears to be, the further its influence will extend and
the more plans will have to be redrawn.

H.B. Fyfe Third Law of Revision: If, when completion of a design
is imminent, field dimensions are finally supplied as they
actually are -- instead of as they were meant to be --
it is always simpler to start all over.

Corollary I: It is usually impractical to to worry beforehand
about interferences -- if you have none, someone will make one for you.

H.B. Fyfe Murphy's Laws Of Computer Programming

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: I. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: II. Any given program costs more and takes longer.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: III. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: IV. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: V. Any program will expand to fill available memory.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: VI. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: VII. Program complexity grows until it
exceeds the capabilities of the programmer who must maintain it.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: VIII. Any non-trivial program contains at least one bug.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: IX. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety,
in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING: X. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.

Shaw's Principle: Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool
will want to use it.

Law of the Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine
beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

Law of Selective Gravity: An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Jennings' Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity: The chance of the bread
falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Wyszkowski's Second Law: Anything can be made to work if you
fiddle with it long enough.

Sattinger's Law It works better if you plug it in.

Lowery's Law: If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Schmidt's Law: If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.

Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.

Gordon's First Law: If a project is not worth doing at all,
it's not worth doing well.

Law of Research: Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Maier's Law: If the facts do not conform to the theory,
they must be disposed of.

Peer's Law: The solution to the problem changes the problem.
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it,
and finds himself no wiser than before.
He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without
having come by their ignorance the hard way.
- Bokonon Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you
when he is in trouble again.
You can lead a man to slaughter, but you can't make him think.
Don't get mad, get even.

Carson's Law: It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.

The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.

Mark's mark: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Korman's conclusion: The trouble with resisting temptation is
it may never come your way again.

Lennon's Law: Life is what happens while you are making other plans.

Thomas la Mance Maugham's Thought: Only a mediocre person
is always at his best.

Krueger's Observation: A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take
a civil service exam in order to work for the government.

Benchley's Law of Distinction: There are two kinds of people in the world,
those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Harver's Law: A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Schmidt's Observation: All things being equal, a fat person
uses more soap than a thin person.

Gibb's Law: Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Fools rush in where fools have been before.

Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem,
it always helps if you know the answer.
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

Wyszowski's Law: No experiment is reproducible.

Fett's Law: Never replicate a successful experiment.

Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined,
some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes
the system or expands it beyond recognition.

The first Myth of Management: It exists.
Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.

Peter's Placebo: An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available
for work in the past tense.

Wiker's Law: Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Tom Wicker Clarke's First Law: When a distinguished but elderly
scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right.
When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Clarke's Second Law: The limits of the possible can only be
defined by going beyond them into the impossible.

[Usurper]

Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.
The important thing is never to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein Segal's Law: A man with a watch knows what time it is.
A man with two watches is never sure.

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.

Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way
programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come
along would destroy civilization.

Hartley's Second Law: Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.

Beckhap's Law: Beauty times brains equals a constant.

Katz's Law: Men and women will act rationally when all
other possibilities have been exhausted.

Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet
is a constant; the population is growing.

Vique's Law: A man without a religion is like a fish without a bicycle.

Jones' Motto: Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

McClaughry's Codicil: To make an enemy, do someone a favour.

Churchill's commentary on man: Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

The ultimate Law: All general statements are false.

The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something;
if it is good, it goes away.
if it is bad, it happens.

The Whispered Rule: People will believe anything if you whisper it.

The First Law of Wing Walking: Never let hold of what you've got
until you've got hold of something else.
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you the rest of the day.

Farnsdick's corollary: After things have gone from bad to worse,
the cycle will repeat itself.

Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.

Law of Revelation: The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

Langsam's Law: Everything depends.

Hellrung's Law: If you wait, it will go away.

Shevelson's Extension: ... having done its damage.

Grelb's Addition: ... if it was bad, it will be back.

Grossman's Misquote: Complex problems have simple,
easy to understand wrong answers.

Ducharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at
the least opportune moment.

First Postulate of Isomurphism: Things equal to
nothing else are equal to each other.

The Unapplicable Law: Washing your car to make it
rain doesn't work.

Witten's Law: Whenever you cut your fingernails,
you will find a need for them an hour later.

Perkin's postulate: The bigger they are, the harder they hit.

Harrison's Postulate: For every action, there is
an equal and opposite criticism.

Conway's Law: In every organization there will always
be one person who knows what is going on.
This person must be fired.

Stewart's Law of Retroaction: It is easier to get
forgiveness than permission.

MacDonald's Second Law: Consultants are mystical people
who ask a company for a number and give it back to them.

First Law of Laboratory Work: Hot glass looks exactly
the same as cold glass.

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
4. If it's incomprehensible, it's mathematics.
5. If it doesn't make sense, it's either economics or psychology.

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

The Sausage Principle: People who love sausage and respect
the law should never watch either one being made.

Horngren's Observation: (generalized) The real world
is a special case.

Merkin's Maxim: When in doubt, predict that the
present trend will continue.

Hawkin's Theory of Progress: Progress does not consist
of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right.
It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that
is more subtly wrong. Never attribute to malice that
which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Matz's warning: Beware of the physician who is great
at getting out of trouble.

Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Buchwald's Second Sans Souci Rule: When a cabinet minister
comes to dine, everybody's lunch is tax deductible.

Astor's Economic Insight: A man who has a million
dollars is as well off as if he were rich.

[Crusader]

fun stuff!

But I think you made a misstake:

Isn't the following the MA Law?

Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit.

[Chopper]

Fabulous. Great. Brilliant. Hilarious...

Thank you X

[Usurper]

Originally Posted by Crusader

fun stuff!

But I think you made a misstake:

Isn't the following the MA Law?

Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't quit.

lol..exactly what i thought too