Penguins... the truth revealed

[Squiglet]

Browsing through some posts this morning I noticed that JimmyB has changed his avatar's title to 'no... more... penguins' which reminded me that I hadn't yet shared my theory about the nefarious plot of these seemingly fluffy flightless birds.

Now most pass this off as one of my pretend, joke, parnoias... me being silly and having a laugh and indeed I think it did start that way, but the more I thought about it the more I came to believe.

The thing is penguins are everywhere. I live in England, which is about as far away from the penguin's natural habitat as I can get and still be on the planet. Yet the penguin has embedded itself into the English culteral conciousness to a far geater extent than most African, Aisan or even European animals. Ignoring the fact that there is yet another animated film about penguins (surfing this time!) they also appear on adverts for products as far ranging as chocolate bars to holidays in Austria (Austria!?!). They are on christmas cards, are referred to in comedy programs and sold as cuddly toys. All this might not seem odd untill you compare the rate of penguin apperences to those of some other animal, which one would imagine as iconic, and has closer links to England geographically, historically and culturally... say the lion or elephant for example. The alarming fact is penguins appear more often than any of these other animals.

Believe me, now you are aware to watch for the prevalence of penguins you too will start to notice that Penguins Are Everywhere!

Now, why, you may ask, should you care about the preponderance of penguin related imagary? Well, to answer that let us examine what might be the Primum Movens behind all these cutsie cartoon pictures and cuddly toys. The message most often convayed by the penguin properganda is that penguin's are good, lovely and nice and wise with a subtext that a) you shouldn't be be surprised if they appear everywhere on the planet and b) that by comparison humans are bad, stupid and dagerous. Now this sort of broad spectrum popularity campaign is common only when public support for a change of regime or governing ideology is sort. For example during democratic election advertising and cold war style propaganda material.

The conclusion must then be that penguines are Trying To Take over The World!

Now you know, you too will start recognising the signs... the number of times penguins appear in a positive context shown to be living all over the globe, demonstrating their intelligent tool use and language abilities, and humans are shown to be foolish and short sighted by comparison.

Believe me, they are coming... before long it will be humans freezing to the winter Antarctic ice with bird eggs shoved up their jacksies while the penguin overlords plan the next planet wide ice age!

[Warz]