Kiss My Tiara ...

[MindStar9]

I'm reading this book right now (for the second time) ... I know, when do I have time to read, but I love reading, and I usually take time at night for a few minutes to read something before sleep. That's after turning the TV on to check news and weather.

Ok, this book is absolutely hysterical, and I'm enjoying it immensely. It's definitely a fun book. It's more for women I suppose, but I'm sure there are many lessons in here for men if they decided to read it. Here's the breakdown of what it's all about ...

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Title: Kiss My Tiara - How to Rule the World as a Smartmouth Goddess

Author: Susan Jane Gilman

"In today's world of contradictory expectations, we'd like a sage, female voice helping us to stand tall, be ourselves, and not take any crap. We want a bad attitude, thank you ... and a good set of power tools." ... from Kiss My Tiara

Smart rules for smart women of all cultures, sexualities, and sizes!

Irreverent, provocative, hip - and always funny - this guide to power and attitude offers women an intelligent alternative to the negative messages we hear every day from magazines, television, and relatives. A Cynthia Heimel for a new generation, Susan Jane Gilman serves up uncommon wisdom and practical advice on everything from sex to politics, from turning shopping skills into a power tool, to using man-catching techniques for salary negotiations.

Be a Smartmouth Goddess when it comes to ...

Beauty: Sure, beauty has the power to excite men. But so does a box of donuts.

Men: After eons of "civilization," guys still have trouble understanding the word "no." Luckily, there's one word that's guy Kryptonite: "commitment."

Money: Feminists have condemned capitalism as patriarchal and exploitive. They obviously never tried to buy tampons in Communist China in 1986.

Politics: Hey, somebody's gotta rule the world. It might as well be us.

Susan Jane Gilman has written commentary for the New York Times, Ms., US, and the Los Angeles Times, among others. Winner of several literary awards for her fiction and essays, she is a native New Yorker who currently lives in "rent exile" in Washington, D.C.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction: Forget Rules for Catching a Husband. How 'bout Rules for Catching a Life?

Part I: Mistress of Our Domain

1. Beauty Tips from Mental Institutions
2. Skip the Spa. Viva Las Vegas!
3. If You Can't Order Dessert, You Can't Ask for a Raise
4. We Don't Shape History by Shaping Our Thighs
5. Niceness: Barf
6. PMS Is a Power Tool
7. Your Clitoris as Disneyland

Part II: Playing Well With Others

8. Our Booty, Ourselves
9. Every Idiot We Date Is One Less Idiot We Risk Marrying
10. Fish Who Need Bicycles (A Thinking Girl's Guide to Love)
11. Marriage Ain't Prozac
12. So What's Wrong with a Little Lesbian Wedding?
13. We Are the Fashion Police
14. Wisdom from Dickville
15. Family: Oy. How to Survive Your Relatives.

Part III: Ruling The World

16. Everything We Need to Know We Learn from Shopping
17. Career Advice and Nail Polish
18. Never Mind a Penis, We'll Take a Bigger Paycheck
19. Latifah Weapon, Brooklyn Porn
20. Play Like a Girl, Watch Like a Girl
21. Give Us The Ol'-Time Religion - So We Can Clobber Sanctimonious Morons with It
22. How to Handle Lunatics, Perverts, and Right-Wing Republicans
23. Onward, Vixen Soldiers!

Conclusion: So Who Ever Said We Were Supposed to Be Happy?


EXCERPT:

"We have more career opportunities than ever, but somehow we still get the message that a bustier, not a brain, is the real source of "Girl Power." We're urged to put on Nike cross-trainers and "Just Do It" - but we're encouraged to "just do it" while consuming twelve hundred calories a day and weighing no more than 103 pounds. We're inspired to scale the corporate ladder, but we're fully aware that it still bumps up against the glass ceiling - and that, more often than not, some guy is still peeking up our skirts as we climb.

Of course, pressure to get married and have kids is always buzzing in our ears like societal Muzak: Hurry up! Your clock is ticking! Unless, of course, we're gay - in which case we experience pressure to "straighten up." And all the while we know that we probably have it better than any group of women in history. But we're still fraught with ambivalence over choices.

Throughout all of this, sadly, many women's personal battles are not in the boardrooms or courtrooms, but in our own bathrooms. Though the women's movement has done a lot over the past few decades to right the scales of justice, it has had little effect on our own scales and mirrors. For so many women, our physical appearance is a major hurdle to feeling powerful and confident. And we just can't seem to get over this. "Want to know what today's chic young feminist thinkers care about?" Time magazine crowed recently. "Their bodies! Themselves!" Much as I hate to side with Time, it's true that some of us literally can't see past the nose on our face.

And while we're sitting there immobilized before the mirror, we're reading backlashy, boy-crazy women's magazines that instruct us to do stuff like master the "art" of fellatio, wrap our thighs in cellophane, or "put your panties in the freezer, then mail them to him at his office in an envelope full of confetti!"

On top of these of course, we've also read The Rules.

The Rules came out, like, what, a zillion years ago? And yet people still refer to them so often, you'd think they were the Ten Commandments.

The Rules essentially instructed women to act like diet soda. Be effervescent! Sweet! Chronically artificial! Remain bubbly and fluid, they implied, and you could trick a guy into marrying you.

For us progressive prima donnas, The Rules, at first glance, was nothing but a warmed-over version of the "trade your hymen for a diamond" formula that nice girls followed in the fifties. But the book was seductive. Why? Precisely because it offered, well, rules. It gave young women very clear instructions: Follow these, it promised, and you will live happily ever after. It was a guaranteed forumula - a godsend! Finally, tangible guidelines! Order amidst the chaos!

And the clincher? These "time-tested secrets" supposedly came from Grandma. Who could be more comforting and wise than Grandma? Who can resist Grandma?

In today's day and age, oh, how we want Grandma! How we crave reassurance and permission and advice! How we long for a wise, maternal female to help us navigate an increasingly complicated world - a world where all the old bets are off, the new ones are risky, and the payoffs are less certain. Some women long for Grandma so badly, we buy books called Chicken Soup for the Soul, co-authored by two guys.

The problem, however, is that some of us don't want a grandma who's fixated on getting us married off. "Catching a husband" sounds a little too much to us like catching a cold. We'd rather act up than settle down. Sure, we want love, but we're also a little ambitious. We have passions and interests and dreams.

Too often, women are confronted with the social equivalent of Sophie's choice. Which "children" are we willing to sacrifice, we're asked: our hearts or our minds? our independence or the prospect of intimacy? our careers or our families? Although we're aware that "having it all" may not be realistic (or even desirable), we don't want to relinquish one part of our soul for another. We want to achieve some balance and richness in our lives. We still want to prevail.

We'd like a sage female voice to counteract all those other grandmas telling us to lose weight, grab that engagement ring, and produce grandchildren before our clock runs out. We'd like a voice to help us deflect all the negative and contradictory messages that fill our heads every day. We'd like a guardian angel perched on our shoulders, helping us stand tall, be ourselves, and not take any shit. Never mind "self-esteem" and "self-help." We want a bad attitude, thank you, and a good set of power tools."

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I have to say, that this is not only one of the most entertaining books I've read and am reading for the second time, but full of the kind of wisdom that is so incredibly timeless. I don't care what decade you're from, the advice and information shared is invaluable in an effort toward coming into your own - intelligently - and not at the expense of others in a negative way.

I highly recommend this book.



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[NetStalker]

So much to say.......lol....but it looks like a wonderful book and exactly the sort of book I would have imagined you would read.

I may just go out and pick this up on your advice.

Also, chapter 7 sounds entertaining....

NS.

[MindStar9]

Hey you ... interesting this is a book that you imagined I would read, but I think you would find it quite surprising to know just what kind of books I generally read. I actually don't label myself as anything other than someone striving for excellence, because perfection is unattainable, and I don't subscribe to all the "groups" out their fighting for different causes. What I do subscribe to however, is achieving a level of overall efficiency and effectiveness in life that allows me to enjoy it and get the most out of it that I can.

Sure, I have my opinons about things, but one thing I can say with crystal clear clarity is ... we have still got a lot to learn about communication, because far too many don't do it very well. This book was a humorous sidestep if you will, into the realm of "real" challenges that women have that create barriers to personal success, because we fall into so many traps. And it's not to say that men don't have their challenges, because soceity and women can certainly play a role in difficulties that prevent relationship success for men as well, and there are enough books written about it, but this was humorously done, despite the reality of it, and quite entertaining ... not to mention the personal lessons.

I'm not a women's libber, a die-hard feminist, or a male basher (I have one living with me remember), but someone waving the flag of personal happiness high and proud because I believe that everyone deserves it ... we just don't always know how to get there.

If anything, it's a fun read and will keep you laughing from page to page, along with divulging some pretty interesting content that makes you think a little ... ok, maybe more than a little. It's books like these that wake us up at times, to let us know that there really are roses to smell.

If you pick it up and read it, let me know what you think of it.



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[Chimp]

I almost wet myself...cool. I still hate you, but in a nice way

You should be a publisher's rep.

[MindStar9]

Originally Posted by Chimp

I almost wet myself...cool. I still hate you, but in a nice way

You should be a publisher's rep.

Interesting comment my dear ... and how is it you can "hate" someone in a "nice" way? Also, what on earth did I do in the past that you would hate me, even in a "nice" way?

Nah, won't become a publisher's rep ... when I start publishing my own stuff then I'll have more to jack my jaws about. For now, I periodically read an interesting book that just sets me off in a way that I want to share it with friends ... and there's no denying I have oodles of them in my virtual universe ... even those who eventually got past me as the Mod, and made some new discoveries that opened their eyes a bit. I've been trying my best to showcase who "I" am, and get away from the old modding me that some have yet to get over. Oh well, can't win 'em all, and there will always be those who won't get it, but that's ok. I wish them well too.

Wherever your thinking is Chimp, I wish you well too. Oh, and btw ... I did catch the wink!



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