***The Commentators***

[Hurrikane]

Hello and welcome to the Pre-Tournament Commentary for WoF 2008, and what a competition it's shaping up to be. I'll now hand you over to our award-winning commentary crew; Heather "Crazy Legs" Johansson and Bob Funstorm.

Heather: Hello to all of you. As Hurrikane's told you, the World of Firepower 2008 is looking to surpass even last year's inaugaral success. From just over 300 avatars taking part, this year boasts nearly double the amount, from 7 more countries than before. Bob?

Bob: Yes. Heather?

Heather: Bob. Anyway, the Tournament has grown, and also evolved; it now boasts an extra qualifying stage and a few new rules. Among the changes was the introduction of a shorter moblist for the support teams; a move seen by many as controversial. Bob?

Bob: Well, I don't know if I'd say "many".

Heather: Well, you didn't read the notes, did you.

Bob: I didn't get them.

Heather: I saw you with them yesterday.

Bob: So, moving on; who's looking good this year? Heather?

Heather: I can't believe your lack of professionalism...

Bob: Not exactly reading the news yourself dear.

Heather: Oh my god. Ahem. Yes, some teams are looking to shake up the scores this year, lets go to our roving reporter Flask Narrative for a spotlight on the developments in camp.

Flask: ....

Heather: Flask? Are you getting this?

Flask: 2 sugars, lovely. Oh, and one of those ring doughnuts... not the jam one, I paid good money for this shirt...

Heather: Flask? hello?

Flask: Nice. Phone me. Woah! Hello. Sorry, bit of a delay on the link-up there.

Heather: Can you tell us who the teams to watch are going to be this year?

Flask: Surely can, it's been a hectic few weeks and the drive to win has been tremendous. First up I have to mention the new teams this year; Norway are making their first entry into the WoF and as many expected, they have a team of strong players already. Amongst other newcomers to watch are the Czech Republic, Brazil and breakaway teams Cuba and Tibet.

Heather: Yes, those breakaway teams; can you tell us a bit more about them?

Flask: Yes Heather, these teams have been formed by nationals of other countries, but have become flag-bearers for these two troubled nations.

Bob: That's not what some people have said.

Heather: That's right Bob, that was the part of the script that said "not to be read out". Flask?

Flask: Yes Heather, some differences were mentioned when these teams were first formed, but the feared depletion of national teams by these breakaway hunters proved to be if anything, an effective rallying call, and at present, it seems as many teams have a chance to qualify as before.

Heather: Thank you Flask, nicely put.

Flask: No problem Heather.

Heather: At least some people here are good at their job.

Bob: Bitch.

Heather: So, who's looking to lead the pack?

Flask: Well, as you can expect, last year's winners Team USA are looking as strong as ever, with James Jimmy Stryker once again at the helm. We all know how they did last year, with only plucky Australia managing to dent their almost flawless run of victories. But up against them are last year's finalists Sweden, who have built an epic team of well-known players to try to wrest the title this time around. Also one can never forget or dismiss Romania, also in last year's final and a team that have shown they have what's necessary to get those really high scores.

Heather: And the others?

Flask: Of the others, England are looking organised and numerous, with a solid Main Team and a raft of support, and more thread replies than any other team. Romania took the lead after a close match last year to deny the Brits entry to the Final, and having come so close they'll be looking to do better. Also looking very strong are Team Denmark and Team Netherlands, whose teams quickly filled with top-ranking members of many top societies. Northern Europe seems to provide countless hordes of these skilled hunters, and it will be a mountainous task ahead of any team wishing to stand in their way.

Bob: Mountainous?

Heather: Yes Bob, it's a big word I know.

Bob: Poetic sap.

Heather: Thanks for that Bob. So Flask, is anyone looking in doubt?

Flask: Well, tough question, and I know there's no team wants to be mentioned in answering it, but there obviously are some teams who haven't been able to get the numbers of some of the bigger countries, but as we saw last year, the efforts of a few can worry the many.

Heather: That's so true.

Flask: Thanks.

Bob: Whore.

Heather: ANYWAY, moving on; so Flask, what's the mood in camp? What are the questions on everyone's lips?

Flask: Well Heather, the atmosphere is one of anticipation; the teams have been practising hard, globalling on a wide variety of mobs, and now just await the moblist, so they can fine-tune their tactics on the run-up to the qualifiers.

Heather: And it's here that a good score really counts?

Flask: Yes, it's this score, combined with the score from the second qualifier, that decides which teams will go through to the group stages. There are 34 teams and 24 spaces. This means 10 teams will not be qualifying.

Bob: Oh,thanks for that, Albert bloody Einstein.

Flask: Hi Bob. Still drinking?

Bob: You know what you are, you why's this mike not working?

Heather: Thanks Bob, way to go. So Flask, what can we expect next?

Flask: Well Heather as you know, the Moblists will be posted on January 26th, a week before the first hunts. The Main Teams will be decided by then, and a week of heated practicing is inevitable. No-one wants the wooden grenade this year.

Heather: Ah yes, the wooden grenade. Tell us a bit more about that.

Flask: Happy to. The wooden grenade was first seen last year, as the award given to the first team to score zero in a WoF round. It arrives in the team thread as a specially-drawn graphic, and is passed to any team who scores zero afterwards. Last year's winners of the wooden grenade were Team Zimbabwe, and it was passed on twice.

Heather: Thanks Flask, must talk more later.

Flask: Anytime.

Heather: So, back to the studio. I'm sure all of you want nothing more than to hear Bob Funstorm's round-up of events, but he's been taken away, I mean taken ill, and won't be able to be with us for that. Instead, we will be showing slides of last year's wof as the credits roll. So from Heather "Crazy Legs" Johansson, and Flask Narrative in WoF Training Camp, we wish you a mighty WoF!

Flask: Phone me.


Thanks for listening, more to come as the Tournament progresses.

[Hurrikane]

So here we go with the

HighLights of Last year's WoF


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Hurrikane

[Danoclese]

Geez!!! That was GREAT...you are a freakin' MANIAC!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for ramping up the anticipation.....can't wait to see this year's WoF Fireworks!!

[Hurrikane]

And now back to our Team, Heather "Crazylegs" Johansson and roving reporter Flask Narrative for the latest in WoF news.

Heather: Hello and again welcome to the WoF. It's been a hectic few days since our last broadcast, with several Nations peppering the chat window with their brazen globals as they practised their newly-formed teams. The day of the first Qualifiers is drawing ever closer and the tension is high.

We go now to Flask, our man in the field; later in our broadcast he'll be giving all of you spectators, and some of the less experianced competitors, a run-though of how PvP and PK is to be used for the Tournament, but for now we will ask him what's next in the WoF timetable. Flask, over to you.

Flask: Hah, yeah, you must be cold. Looking good though. K! Hi Heather.

Heather: If you're not too busy Flask, a round-up of what's happening on the ground?

Flask: Not busy, not busy at all. Happy to. Ok.

Heather: In your own time. I'm sure she'll keep.

Flask: Oh come on! What have we had, one date? You're my wife now or something?

Heather: Oh I think we can disregard that possibility. The news?

Flask: News it is. The Nations are now finalising their Main Teams from the applicants on their team threads, ready for submission on Jan 26th. People can still apply for teams up to one day before that. Jan 26th sees the publication of the Stage 1 Moblist, which has been called "The calm before the storm".

Heather: And what have they been calling Stage 2?

Flask: The storm, Heather. Indications are that the Stage 1 moblist will be quite an easy selection to ease teams into the WoF, while Stage 2 will present more in the way of action. The selection in these two rounds has favoured established mobs.

Heather: And can you tell us what goes into choosing the mobs for the WoF?

Flask: Sure Heather. In each Stage, the points on offer for the Main Team are 5,6,7,8,9 and 10. There are 4 mobs and 6 scores, so some are given split scores according to maturity. Mobs are chosen for many reasons; mass availability is not always wanted, as scores must be a challenge to get. The actual PED cost of killing the mob is taken into account, as is the difficulty involved. Some mobs are included for their unique or interesting nature, while some are included simply because Hurrikane doesn't like them, and wants to send masses of people out to kill them.

Heather: That's great. Now, tell us about what the teams must be doing in these last few days.

Flask: Well, tomorrow, Hurrikane posts the updated and final choices for Time-Slots, and will post them in every thread. The Captains will then PM Hurrikane with their Choice of time-slot (on Feb 2nd or 3rd) for their first Qualifying match.

Heather: And how long do they have to do that?

Flask: All confirmed time slots should be pm'd to Hurrikane by Jan 30th. There's the launch party on Feb 1st at Palms Corner, the first hunt the day after that... so the slots must be booked in time.

Heather: So, what about selecting who from the Main Team will hunt? This Stage needs four, doesn't it?

Flask: Yes that's right Heather, four is the Hunt Team size this Stage.

Heather: You're calling it the Hunt Team?

Flask: Yes, the Hunt Team is the section of the Main Team who takes part in any particular match or Stage.

Heather: When do they have to declare who is hunting in each match?

Flask: Well, just before each hunt. There's no need to state the Hunt Team before that. The Judges will have, by that time, a full list of every avatar in each Main Team and will be able to verify each member's eligibility to participate. No last-minute replacements here.

Heather: Right, that's the first part of the report done with. Now it's Flask on a pre-recorded segment called
"How to deal with PvP in the WoF".

<Music> "Shot by both sides"-Magazine

Flask: Welcome to PvP. If you take part in the WoF this year, you might well find yourself within these areas in a desperate hunt for Globals. You might be visiting PvP for the first time, and be a little unsure of what to expect.

Firstly, some areas (PvP 3&4) need an anti-toxic shot to be applied, which will have to be renewed if you are shot. Budget accordingly.

Some areas (PvP 3&4) are Lootable PvP. If you are the sort of person likely to be shot, keep stackable goods to a minimum, as they will be looted from you. A trick one might use is to have a few guys carrying huge stacks of dung to weigh down those that loot them

All PvP areas are open to everyone in the game, as well as those taking part in the WoF. The actions of other avatars, and the dangers raised by those actions are a part of the Tournament, a factor to be considered and prepared for. Other Teams, their Support teams and random individuals can and will do pretty much what they like in PvP, so take this into account before you enter.

When not to Pk: The WoF cannot rule very effectively on individual incidents. All hunters are strongly urged to nevertheless comply with the spirit of the event. With this in mind, if the other team don't shoot back, cool it a little.

An acceptable pk would be killing members of a Main Team on their way to a hunting ground or on the way back from revival. An unacceptable Pk would be shooting the last member of a team who was just about to deal the final blow to the real big mob that just killed all his buddies and perhaps get a global that could make all the difference, but it's too far from revive and they don't even get to loot it; then it happens a few more times (with screenshots).... you get the idea. Fight all you want, but avoid kill-steals and exterminations.

Finally: Watch that crossfire! It's too easy to forget that when there's a few of you on one mob, you're flesh and bone as well... no-one likes friendly fire for long


Heather: Thanks for that Flask, great report.

Flask: Anytime.

Heather: So, back to the Studio, where we're joined by why's this mike not working?

Bob: Because of silly old wire-cutting me.

Heather: Bob? Bob Funstorm? You're out?

Bob: Oh yes.

Heather: Shit.

Bob: I'm out, I'm quite heavily armed, and I've taken over the news room.

Heather: Listen, Bob, we can talk this one out...

Bob: You talk all you want, you talentless tart. Where's Flash Dafthead?

Heather: On a live link-up from PvP.

Bob: Perfect. Hey you little exam-passer! Hope you get a Tango between the ears!

Flask: Bob, calm down.

Bob: Too late for that, buddy boy...

...---/-/<End of Broadcast>\-\---...

[ZippO]

amazing commentary guys! Would be so incredibly awesome if this could be broadcast live on internet streamin radio!

[Chopper]

Hurrikane, I may have said this to you before, more than once. However...

You funny Bastard.

[Parlog]

This was a post full of pictures taken by Parlog on the weekend, when I called for a roving reporter to go out in the field to get some pics of the action, but unfortunately they came though in quite low resolution and we can't use them. Thank you Parlog for the effort (I saw in the last one the Phasm was pointing towards the camera), I've got a gift for you if you meet me at the next start point.

Hurrikane

[Hurrikane]

Back to the Studio,

where Bob Funstorm gives us the low-down on Stage 2.


Bob: This bloody thing on?

Meeri: I can hear you fine honey.

Bob: Well you're sat two feet away, you silly-arse woman. It's the world at large I was concerned about, not you.

Meeri: I don't have to be here at all if that's your attitude.

Bob: You want me to put you ahead of the rest of the entire world?

Meeri: C'mon hon, I've seen your viewing figures. It's not exactly the entire world now is it? More like "an adequate percentage of minority sports viewers"

Bob: That, like you, is irrelevant. I have a job to do.

Meeri: I seriously doubt it.

Bob: And what's that supposed to mean?

Meeri: Well, you've taken over the studio at gunpoint and tied up Heather over there.

Heather: ..............

Meeri: I don't think they're going to be too happy as employers.

Bob: No need to dwell on the past.

Meeri: You just did it.

Bob: Exactly. Do you have the overview of how the First Stage went?

Meeri: On we're reading the news now?

Bob: That's what you're here for.

Meeri: Is it? You just phoned me at my apartment and said "come to the studio if you ever want that Porsche"

Bob: You are worse than my wife.

Meeri: That's helped, I really want to do this now.

Bob: Just do it?

Meeri: OKAY, the first Stage was a trumph for England..."

Bob: A triumph.

Meeri: Hee hee I did wonder. The first Stage was a triumph for England, who scored global after global, ending up with a massive 402 points. The organisation seems to be paying off for Captain OracleKev and his small army of hunters. France were the closest to them, with a healthy 322 point score which put aside any worries brought up when members left France for other teams in the weeks before the WoF. Take a breath.

Bob: You don't have to say that part.

Meeri: Oh! (giggles) Estonia and last year's finalists Romania showed they had the power to global when necessary, while of the other finalists, America were joint 5th with Tibet and Sweden attained 11th place. It all hinges on the next match and the scores to be added now; no-one wants to be in that bottom 8 at the end of Sunday the 17th of February.

Bob: There's another page.

Meeri: Ooh yeah, silly me.

Bob: Silly, frivolous, useless you.

Meeri: Oi! Mention must be made of Denmark's amazing 11k Hof, which was the highest single loot ever recorded in a WoF match. Canada are the only team so far to HoF on the Bonus Mob for 50 points. Portugal aso deserve a mention, as they got two Susans and two HoF's in one hunt, also getting a score of 284 without the Main Team deviating from Phasms at all.
Bob?

Bob: Several Teams were one man short, but all fought like tigers. It was a day of toil and smoke, of a war played out before us.

Flask: And you call me a poetic sap?

Bob: What? I thought I'd cut your link, you cretinous little...

Flask: Now now Bob, let's not go crazy again. You hold it down, big guy, let's talk about this.

Bob: Fine. What do you want to talk about?

Flask: About why you cut my link, for a start.

Bob: Because I can't shoot you from here.

Flask: And why would you want to do that?

Bob: Because you are a manifest symbol of the kind of Eco-Designer-Hippie-Critical-Band-Wagon-Jumping-Pseudo-Anarchist-self-righteous-over-friendly-touchy-feely tick-turd that I despise and always have.

Flask:.......

Bob: Heh, that shut you up you yoghurt-knitting freak. Grow a dreadlock.

Meeri: Hon, is there more news?

Bob: Only this; I see there's a pvp element in Stage 2. I will be sending Flask to cover it. I hope all the teams give him the welcome he sorely needs. Oh, and he asked me to pass on a message to all the teams competing; "You are weak like fluffy kittens, or little girls" or something.

Flask: You bastard! Hey! You cut me off again!

Bob: More news soon.